Unfortunately, in my home, the television is ruled by my darling girlfriend.  Generally this isn’t a problem as I prefer to get on the computer anyway but sometimes I find myself in an unavoidable situation where I have to watch something I wouldn’t normally watch.

Within the list of these programs is the ever faithful Eastenders.  It’s not the worst program in the world for a bloke but that can all change when one particular actress gets some airtime.  Her real name is Melissa Suffield and she plays Lucy Beale.  I’m no acting guru and I really want to keep the floor open on this one and let people make up their own minds as to what they think of the quality and timing of Ian Beales troublesome daughter.

Melissa Suffield aka Lucy Beale

The following Youtube video clearly shows this actress in a demenading scene, requiring facial emotion and expert delivery of the lines.  I’ll leave it to you to see whether you think she’s punching above her weight.

In this scene, Lucy touches on the irksome subject of periods.  Does anyone else get the feeling that a deficated-on, decapitated, burnt rat could deliver the lines more convincingly?

Here’s another equally bland performance while preparing for a party.

Seriously though?  What are the Eastender bosses really thinking of by involving her in yet more demanding storylines?  In researching for this article, I asked a few people for their opinions and they seemed to be shared.  However, while digging through YouTube for some ‘examples’, I found several fan made videos (although these were usually a montage of pictures, no acting - hmmm…) which seem to indicate she does command some popularity.

Unfortunately, I can’t see things getting any better since she’s been in the soap for a few years and I’ve seen no improvement of note.  The amazing thing is, she replaced the original Lucy Beale who was played by Casey Anne Rothery, who I’m fairly sure would have out-acted her in any given scene (although I have never seen her act.)

Casey Anne Rothery

Still, I’m not that bothered, I’m not going to complain to the BBC or the makers of Eastenders, I’ll just continue to watch, in amazement, at how easy it is to get an acting gig on prime time television.

We’ve all seen the advertisements for Surf’s ‘Small and Mighty’ detergent.  They usually contain children with strong accents, plying us with information about how friendly to the Earth it all is but is it really?  We all know the old saying, ‘Bigger is Better’, so what’s all the noise about?

Honestly?  Nothing.  It’s just another marketing angle, shot at us through our television screens to make money for Unilever, the company behind Surf.  Are there really less trucks and lorries on the road delivering the stuff?  Or perhaps the marketing ploy has worked so well that double the amount of people are buying it (or possible even more) and there’s now even MORE polution than ever before.  But to be fair, don’t get me started on whether ‘polution’ exists.  There’s enough politicians buzz words flying about without contextuating that one into every relevent sentance.

By the way, it doesn’t stop there.  Double concentrate has creeped it’s way into my orange squash as well.  This I found to my horror after pouring myself a recent drink.  It was so strong I felt like my face had been sucked into my mouth!  If anyone out there has, for some reason, read this far then heed my advice;  Buy what you want, double concentrate is okay.  I’m sure some of our more ‘A-Class’ orientated celebrities would agree…

In times past I would find myself in the queue of a local Tesco’s Express with a Yorkie and a can of Dr Pepper in my hand.  Nowadays it’s a Twix, KitKat or even a stinkin’ Mars Bar.  I used to like Yorkies but gone are the days where I buy them.  What’s happened to me?  I’ll investigate this further with the help of only www.dailyjunk.co.uk and my cats whiskers!

Personally, I think it’s disgusting.  Why does ones tastebuds change when they get to a certain age?  I feel like I’m shoving the decent sweets aside for evermore popular counterparts.  I mean, what did a Twix do for us recently? NOTHING.  But does it stop you from getting to elevenses at the office, running down to the vending machine, flipping in a 50 pence piece and dunking it in your cup of tea!?  No my crazy friend, it doesn’t!  The next time you fancy a snack you only deviate from ‘the norm’ for a blinkin’ KitKat or a Mars Bar.  Or a bloddy Snickers!  Where the hell did that come from?  When I was a lad, old people ate Snickers as a sweet while I crammed the monstrous bricks of chocolate, that were pieces of Yorkie, into my boat race!  I mean it even had to change it’s bloody name from Marathon!

 
WTF?

I suppose, all I’m trying to get at during this whole article is:-

- What happened to them chocolate pretzel things that came in the blue packet?

I love google images

Rant over.